Sometimes things happen, and I respond with a very quick knee-jerk reactions. Other times, I respond slower, but from a deep level of understanding and personal experience.

This week I was triggered by a parent not allowing their male child to buy a pink graphic t-shirt because he was a boy and wearing pink might offend the grandmother. Since when is a child responsible for someone else’s reaction—to a color, no less?!

I say nay nay.

Keep your oppressive shame to yourself. Don’t heap it on to a child who happens to be quite comfortable in his own skin. Don’t try to cram someone else, especially a child, into a box that you have chosen for yourself.

Thanks, but no thanks. That’s a hard pass for me.

F*** shame.

The Game of Shame

Oppressive shaming
Gotta get gaming
Passing out naming
Labeling and framing
Really just aiming
at a child’s heart.

Please tell me 
you know about this—
saying to a child 
he will be remiss
if he wears something 
grandma won’t like.

It’s oppressive,
it’s aggressive,
it’s obsessive 
and regressive.
It tears at a child’s heart.

Generational cycles
repeating and repeating.
Don’t you know
that fashion is fleeting?
Colors don’t reflect 
“manliness” or sexuality.

It’s oppressive,
it’s aggressive,
it’s obsessive 
and regressive.
It tears at a child’s heart.

It’s not ok to place 
that weight upon a child
to tell him he’s responsible,
to make him feel exiled
all because he’s comfortable 
inside his own skin.

It’s oppressive,
it’s aggressive,
it’s obsessive 
and regressive.
It tears at a child’s heart.

I’m sure I did it, 
I know that I lived it,
but I’m breaking that cycle
because I can admit it.
I can share my story
and overcome the past.

It’s oppressive,
it’s aggressive,
it’s obsessive 
and regressive.
It tears at a child’s heart.

Oppressive shaming
Gotta get gaming
Passing out naming
Labeling and framing
Really just aiming
at a child’s heart.

—Carla Picklo Jordan